lovingkindness, the judgemental-mind antidote
You may have noticed that it is very challenging to use a ‘beginner’s mind’ and to resist the urge to judge; the habits of judging and criticizing are deeply ingrained in nearly everyone.
Judging is a significant hurdle to moment-by-moment awareness. When your mind stops to judge, when you are concentrating on your judgements, you lose track of what is going on in the moment. But the flow does not stop when you do, it just passes you right by. (Musashi Miyamoto ‘The Book of Five Rings’, 1992 p.xxii)
“Because of this deep-habit energy of judging, meditation teachers have long taught the importance of building a foundation of mindfulness upon attitudes of kindness and compassion.
Lovingkindness is described as deep friendliness and welcoming, a quality embodying compassion and cherishing, filled with forgiveness and unconditional love. It is a deep human capacity, always present, at least potentially. It can be seen when one observes a mother tenderly caring for her child.
Lovingkindness can be a powerful aid to your mindfulness practice. All you need to do is to admit and allow feelings of kindness and compassion into your way of paying attention mindfully. Resting in kindness this way, with compassion and affection embedded in your attention, can protect you from the deep habits of judging and criticism.”
McKay, Wood, Brantley ‘The Dialectal Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook’ (2007) p117